Fast forward.... same shit.... just a different day.

I still suck at blogging. I am still in the same rut as the last post.  And I am calling myself out on it all.  Our son just left early this morning to go back home, to Boston.  There I said it, his home is in Boston.  Not here, with us.  Hundreds of miles away. From here, from me.  I would of hoped by now I would be accepting of it, over it and okay with it.  In some instances, I am, but most times, I am not. He is there for a job, so it's no fault of his own and I get it. We still have the daughter here, even though she is still a few hundred miles away, attending college.  But there is hope, that she will come home when she graduates and will want to live close by.  So I have that, right?  Hope.... a word I hold on to.... more than anyone should.  I want more than hope.  Is there such a thing?

So Christmas is over, sad in a way, but I am slightly happy that it is.  Tired of seeing normal, happy families with their children close by, seeming to enjoy each other's company ALL THE TIME.  My family is normal too, but in a dysfunctional way.  Nobody talks, or when they do, it's usually an argument, a nasty comment being given, someone is being made fun of or just being completely ignored.  Yeah, its like that and that is why I try not to talk or try anymore.  Nobody listens anyway. I know I can improve on my side, but when others don't care, why bother, right?      

So a new year is upon us in just a few days.  How do I plan to improve myself, my life and outlook in 2016?  I don't know.  I do know I need to do something, or I will lose my mind.  

Wishing all the happy people out there continued happiness in 2016 and for those of us unhappy folks, I wish for us a little slice of happiness and more than hope to get us through.

xoxo

Life gets in the way...

I am a failure at blogging.  I have good intentions, however my job is so demanding that I can't focus on anything that could or would bring me joy.  So as soon as I get home, I sit in a coma like state and don't do anything fun or just anything.


Things have changed since the last time I wrote here.  Our son did graduate from college, came home for a short time and then landed his dream job in Boston. Gone, he is now gone.  We see him sporadically, as my job is demanding and my husband owns and runs his own business.  Taking time off is difficult for us and it's just not a quick trip to go visit him.


Our daughter, after a crazy, stressful first year away at college, has just returned to school yesterday for her sophomore year.  We are hopeful the drama and trauma from last year (roommate from hell, her cheating boyfriend left back at home and the homesickness) has passed and is a distant memory.


I am hoping to dedicate more time to me, my husband and things that bring me joy and happiness.  I need to replace those things as they left when my children left.


That's what happens when life gets in the way.....   

In the middle of limbo land

I am back and this is where my blogging will most likely take off in full flight.  Our youngest and our only daughter has left the nest for her freshman year in college....four and a half hours away from home.... we moved her in on Thursday..... to the middle of nowhere.....away from me, us and did I mention 4.5 hours away from home?!?!?!

She is our second and last child to leave and go away to college.  I thought, since I had prior experience with our son doing it exactly four years prior, that I would be okay.  It would be a piece of cake. I could handle it. And I would be fine. Ugh.... that is is big fat NO!   I am not okay, I am not fine at the moment and any prior experience that I may of had does not help me to deal with it now.

So now what?  I think the issue is that when someone spends half of their life being a parent, taking care, living and breathing and getting up everyday and doing what they need to do for their children and then BAM.... having the rug pulled out right from under them! The kids are now adults, gone and have moved on with their lives (as they should), and we, the parents, are left empty handed, in limbo and unsure as to what purpose we have now in life. At least, that is how I am feeling now.  You try to prepare, you know the time is coming, but when it stares at you right in the face, you have no idea on what to do next. 

So here I sit on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, in a quiet house, trying to figure out if I should take a nap, organize my linen closet or straighten up my daughter's room up just a little. 

Maybe you are wondering what my husband thinks of all this.....right now he is cleaning out the shed.  I think this just might be his purpose at this very moment.  At least he is trying to move forward.         

Wondering on how to get unstuck.....

Just got back from a business trip for work for training that really wasn't necessary for me or the coworker I went with.  And if it wasn't enough stress with being away from home for four days, while we were gone, our manager gave his two week notice.  This can go two different ways, good or bad.  The good way would be to bring in someone new to take over or to promote a qualified person from within.  The bad way is to promote the next successor in line.  This will not work and I hope the powers that be will choose WISELY.  The name of this post has to do with all of this..... doing the same thing over and over again keeps you STUCK.  This office has been running like this, in a STUCK in position FOREVER.  And that is the reason I left there way back in 2005.  And then I made the big mistake and went back to work there this past August.  I am unsure if I like being stuck and I do it subconsciously or if this opportunity to come back was done to prepare me and give me for what could be coming.... which hopefully could be a promotion or a step forward of some sort.  And this can help me keep very busy when this nest really empties in August.  So here I wait with bated breath for some sort of direction.  Hopefully to Unstuck land I will be heading.  

Welcome

Welcome to my little blog. Today is my birthday and this blog is a present to myself, a little bit of sanity in a crazy world. My hope is to be able to adapt to the Empty Nest limbo that is upon my husband and myself.  Our son is set to graduate this May from college and our daughter will be heading off to college in the Fall.  I am hoping that I am getting ahead of myself, and that our son will come back home for a bit, before heading out on his own.  But he keeps telling me that he will be moving out on his own once he graduates....so we will see.  This little blog will help document the Empty Nest Syndrome, my way of dealing with it and all the stuff in between... real life, working, assist in running a family business and "refluffing the nest"....and you know what that means.....the possibility of having an "extra" bedroom or two to take over for myself.  I hope you will follow along with my journey and thanks for stopping by.